Don't Give Up
by adpi24
Summary: NS. Slightly AU. Nick's past is coming back full force to haunt him. Sara is there to help. Please R & R. Rating might be high, better safe than sorry.


Don't Give Up  
  
Written by adpi24 aka Brianna  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own the song or the characters  
  
AN: Just wanted to write a little ficlet  
  
I'm taking literary license to the max, I'm making things up about the characters pasts. Also, assume that Nick has told Sara about his molestation as a child.  
  
*~*~*  
  
Nick POV  
  
It's been seven years, seven years since I up and left Texas and came to Vegas. I left my family, my life behind. I had too. I had no other choice, no options left for me.  
  
*In this proud land we grew up strong*  
  
*We were wanted all along*  
  
*I was taught to fight, taught to win*  
  
*I never thought I could fail*  
  
But I did fail; I failed to protect the one person I loved. Heather was unlike any woman I had met. I fell hard and fast for her, she felt the same. We were both working for the Dallas Police Department. She was on the force while I was a CSI. Six months into our relationship everything fell apart.  
  
*No fight left or so it seems*  
  
*I am a man whose dreams have all deserted*  
  
*I've changed my face, I've changed my name*  
  
*But no one wants you when you lose*  
  
Heather was called out to a murder with her partner, Robert. When they arrived at the scene, unbeknownst to them, the murder was waiting for them, waiting for the opportunity to kill some cops. Heather and Robert didn't even have a chance to pull their weapons when they were senselessly murdered. I was called to the scene before they even realized Heather was there. It was the most horrifying shock of my life. I was immediately taken off the case.  
  
I was in denial. I couldn't believe that she was gone. The one person who mattered more to me than anything in the world was gone. A part of my heart immediately shut itself closed to love. I was determined to never fall in love again. I didn't want to open myself up to the possibility of loving and losing again. I was later told that Heather was roughly six weeks pregnant when she was murdered. Not only was I upset that she was taken from me so abruptly, but now my unborn child was taken too.  
  
*Don't give up*  
  
*'Cus you have friends*  
  
*Don't give up*  
  
*You're not beaten yet*  
  
*Don't give up*  
  
*I know you can make it good*  
  
My family tried to be so supportive, so did my friends. But nothing helped. I was mad at everyone, mad at the world. No matter what anyone said, nothing made it better. Heather was gone and so was our unborn child. I decided I needed to leave Dallas. My family tried to convince me I was being irrational in abruptly moving. I didn't care. I needed a change.  
  
*Though I saw it all around*  
  
*Never thought I could be affected*  
  
*Thought that we'd be that last to go*  
  
*It is so strange the way things turn*  
  
*Drove the night toward my home*  
  
*The place that I was born on the lakeside*  
  
*As daylight broke, I saw the earth*  
  
*The trees had burned down to the ground*  
  
I got an offer to join the Las Vegas crime lab. Being that it was the number two lab in the country, I jumped at the chance. I moved within three weeks of Heather's murder. I changed my entire personality in Las Vegas. I decided to become more of the carefree frat boy I was in college. The one who would have one night stands without a seconds guess. Everything worked out perfectly until two women entered my life. Sara and Kristi.  
  
With Kristi I felt the need to protect her. I hadn't intended on sleeping with her, but we had 'a chemistry' as I told Grissom. That fell apart when she was murdered and I was the prime suspect until Catherine cleared my name.  
  
Sara. Sara is an entirely different story all together. Up until recently I never felt the need to protect her. But after the explosion in the lab and what Hank did to her, I feel as though I should. My feelings for Sara have grown tremendously over the three in a half years that she has been in Vegas. I was unable to accept my feelings for Sara. I didn't want to open myself up to the pain again. I know that I love her. I love her so much that it hurts, but I can't take a chance with my heart again. I'd rather never have her than lose her the way I lost Heather.  
  
I've given up on love  
  
*~*~*  
  
Sara POV  
  
I see Nick leave the locker room heading out of the building completely lost in his thoughts. That has become more and more common recently. I'm becoming worried about him. Our friendship has changed. We rarely talk anymore, it's almost like he is afraid to talk to me. We used to talk about everything. It hurts that we don't have that anymore.  
  
Before I know what I'm doing I'm chasing after Nick, calling out for him. I finally catch up to him just as he has exited the building to the parking lot. I begin to beg him to talk to me. I don't know why, I'm not a begger. I'm so concerned about him. It's evident in my face, in my eyes, can't he see it.  
  
Can't he see that I'm in love with him?  
  
*Don't give up*  
  
*You still have us*  
  
*Don't give up*  
  
*We don't need much of anything*  
  
*Don't give up*  
  
*'Cause somewhere there's a place where we belong*  
  
I grab his hand and squeeze it, silent encouragement that I'm there for him and that I care and what to listen. He stares intently into my eyes then turns his face away. I'm hurt by this move.  
  
*Rest your head*  
  
*You worry too much*  
  
*It's going to be alright*  
  
*When times get rough*  
  
*You can fall back on us*  
  
*Don't give up*  
  
*Please don't give up*  
  
*~*~*  
  
Nick POV  
  
I hear Sara calling out to me. I stop and see her. She begins telling me that she wants to help me out and is concerned. She finishes talking and I stare deep into her eyes and I see something that I've been running from for seven years, love. I turn my head away, unable to accept her love. I can tell she is hurt by my move.  
  
*Got to walk out of here*  
  
*I can't take anymore*  
  
I quickly release her hand and run to my Tahoe and have started the engine and pulled out of my assigned spot before Sara can move from where she is standing. Shock, confusion and hurt register on her face. I drive out of Vegas, leaving the glitter of sin city behind me. I continue driving through Henderson. I finally stop when I reach Hoover Dam. I exit my vehicle and walk to the dam.  
  
*Going to stand on that bridge*  
  
*Keep my eyes down below*  
  
*Whatever may come*  
  
*And whatever may go*  
  
*The rivers flowing*  
  
*the rivers flowing*  
  
I stand there, contemplating my life. Everything that has happened to this moment. I stare into the sky and into the Colorado River. Both such beauty. It is pretty quiet on the dam tonight, not many cars crossing from Arizona to Nevada in vice versa. My silence is interrupted by a voice, a voice that I had hoped to run from. Sara.  
  
*~*~*  
  
Sara POV  
  
As soon as Nick got out of the parking lot I ran to my Tahoe, jumping in and quickly leaving so I could follow him. I quickly found him in the Las Vegas traffic, but decided to keep a safe distance behind. I don't know why I'm following him, but I have too. I have to check on him. My gut is telling me too.  
  
I follow him to Hoover Dam. I find his Tahoe and park next to him. I slowly exit the vehicle and allow my eyes to adjust. I see him standing on the dam, looking up to the sky then down to the Colorado. I slowly walk over to him. When I'm about ten feet away I call out his name.  
  
*~*~*  
  
"Nick"  
  
He turns, he sees the woman he was running from standing not ten feet in front of him  
  
"Sara, what are you doing here?"  
  
"I followed you. I'm sorry."  
  
"Why are you here Sara?"  
  
"Nick, I'm worried about you."  
  
"Well I'm fine"  
  
"No, no you're not. Please don't lie to me. I know you better than that" Sara states calmly  
  
Nick laughs harshly, "You know me better than that. What a load of shit Sara. You don't know me"  
  
"What! So what the last three and a half years of friendship mean absolutely nothing"  
  
"No they don't" Nick states.  
  
He quickly turns and begins walking to the Arizona side of the dam. Sara in hot pursuit.  
  
"Nick this is complete and utter bullshit!!!" Sara yells  
  
Nick stopped, turned and looked at her.  
  
"It's complete bullshit that you are claiming I don't know you. I know the simple things, how you take your coffee, what your favorite food is, what your least favorite food is. I also know the important things, I know about your childhood trauma, how you felt when Kristi was murdered, how you felt when Mrs. Hendler pulled the gun on you, when Nigel was stalking you." Sara yelled "Don't tell me that I don't know you because I do"  
  
Nick had never seen Sara this angry before in the years he had known her. Deep down he knew she was right. He turned away from her, not willing to show her the tears that were forming in his eyes.  
  
Sara closed the distance between them and moved to stand in front of him.  
  
"Nick. Please. I'm worried. Please talk to me. Look at me"  
  
Nick looked up at her and the tears began falling in earnest. Sara immediately wrapped her arms around him. She whispered words of comfort to him. Nick felt an overwhelming sense of calmness envelope his body. He had to tell her about Heather. He couldn't keep running from his past, especially when the future he wanted was right in front of him, comforting him.  
  
*Moved on to another town*  
  
*Tried hard to settle down*  
  
*For every job, so many men*  
  
*So many men no one needs*  
  
Nick slowly pulled away from Sara and looked deep into her chocolate brown eyes.  
  
"Sara there's something I need to tell you"  
  
*~*~*  
  
Nick POV  
  
I told her everything.  
  
I felt an overwhelming burden completely lifted from my chest.  
  
She was so supportive.  
  
I confessed all my fears. How I was terrified to love for fear that I would lose the person. But she said something that made my mind clear.  
  
"It's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all"  
  
And she is right.  
  
I confessed I loved her, that I had tried for so long not too, but I couldn't keep these feelings inside anymore.  
  
Sara then did something I have never seen her do before in front of me, she began crying. At first I was terrified that I had hurt her, she quickly said that she was crying tears of happiness because she loved me too.  
  
Sara found me when I was ready to give up on love.  
  
She encouraged me not to give up.  
  
I will forever love her and be thankful for her.  
  
*~*~*  
  
*Don't give up*  
  
*'Cause you have friends*  
  
*Don't give up*  
  
*You're not the only one*  
  
*Don't give up*  
  
*No reason to be ashamed*  
  
*Don't give up*  
  
*You still have us*  
  
*Don't give up now*  
  
*We're proud of who you are*  
  
*Don't give up*  
  
*You know it's never been easy*  
  
*Don't give up*  
  
*'Cause I believe there's a place*  
  
*There's a place where we belong*  
  
*~*~*  
  
THE END  
  
AN: Well I hope y'all enjoyed this. Kind of long for a ficlet. Please read and review. I'm going to try and write some more today, but I'm going to the Evanescence concert tonight (no throwing of the stones please. LOL).  
  
The song is Don't Give Up by Peter Gabriel featuring Kate Bush. It is from his album 'So' it is also featured in the closing credits of The Bone Collector. 


End file.
